Inferiority is Complex

Eleanor Roosevelt once said “No one can ever make you feel inferior without your consent”. That’s a lovely saying, but seems to me that it is also extremely inaccurate.

Obviously, ER’s words are great ones to live by. “No one can bring you down”, “Keep your head high”, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me”, ” I am rubber, you’re glue–“. These are all phrases we teach kids in the world today, but are those really words to live by? I recently had a conversation with someone who is normally very self-confident. He excels in the face of adversity. He shines in every competition or challenge that is laid in front of him. He is a very lovable, likeable person. But, sometimes, apparently that just isn’t enough. Sometimes, being the best will make people want to bring you down.  For a person who always overcomes adversity, this is not anything that is difficult to overcome. This is a normal occurrence, people always want to bring down those who are on top. But, after a while, hearing that you’re worthless becomes more difficult.

As children, we learn how to speak from hearing others talk. We learn how to do things, by watching and listening to others. So, when we hear constant belittling and demeaning remarks, it is difficult to not begin associating that with reality. No matter what the truth or untruth, hearing that you’re terrible at something eventually seeps into your mind and has the ability to spoil everything.

Some I’ve talked to say that this is an initiation. That these “other” people are testing the waters, to see how strong this man is. My question is WHY?. Isn’t it difficult enough to survive in this world without having to go through a rite of passage everytime you begin something new? As an educator, and recent college graduate, maybe I am naive and optimistic. But, I am of the opinion that you should encourage someone who is trying something new. Positive reinforcement has been proven to be more effective than negative! So, why do we constantly try to bring down, or put challenges in the way of those who are excelling?

Life Support

OK, there is a difference between being a support system for a friend in need and telling someone what to do. Sometimes the difference seems ever so slight, but I assure you that it is major. I think sometimes I fail to recognize the difference, and I can admit to that. I also realize how frustrating that can be to people, because I have been on the receiving end of that as well. I think that there is a certain line that’s crossed when someone asks for advice, and instead they get an outline by which they should live their lives. An opinion is one thing, but I think that a person should be in control of his or her own life.

Personally, I’m a very independent person. I guess it has something to do with the way that I was raised, because everyone in my family is that way. If someone tells me I can’t do something– I want to do it. If someone tells me I shouldn’t do something– I’m most likely going to. I don’t like being told what to do, and I don’t respond in a favorable fashion generally.

At the same time, I know people who can’t seem to make a decision for themselves. They are constantly asking “What should I do?”. Without an outside source of help, I am sure they would live their lives decision-less.

I guess that this blog seems a bit like a random ramble without the context, but if I were to divulge the inspiration for this blog I fear I might compromise a close friendship. I guess I am just pretentious enough to believe that I have the right to make my own decisions and to establish my own belief system. I generally don’t just accept what I’m told, I have always been that way. I like to learn it for myeslf. I like to experience things for myself, without the judgments of those around me. Advice is one thing. Telling me how to live my life is another.

Lives of the Beligerent and Inconsiderate

This blog comes out of the pure anger, resentment, frustration, and exhaustion that I feel after a night of no sleep. No, I did not stay up all night studying, partying, or lounging. I actually went to bed at the reasonable hour (for a college student) of 2 a.m. Around 4:30 am is when the incident occured. But, before telling this story, I must first give some background on the subject matter.

Last semester, I lived alone. My roommate decided not to return to school this year, and residence life never assigned me anyone else. While on Christmas break, I recieved an e-mail from our Residence Life director informing me that my new roommate would be moving in this semester. I was a little peeved, as he had not previously spoken to me about my living situation, and if he had, I could have amended myself. However, I knew the girl that would be moving in, and I knew that everything would be alright. And, it has been, she and I get along great. However, his reasoning for moving her into my apartment, was that he needed a first floor room– for medical purposes. Well, it turns out that was a lie. The girls who moved in have no medical reasons for needing a first floor room. They decided they did not like living in the suite style dormitories, because they disliked their roommates. This is strike two. Strike one was freshman year when I had contact with one of the roommates. She lived next door to a friend of mine, and they would blast their music and scream and jump around the room at odd hours of the night when other people were attempting to study. Basically, I have found these girls to be rude and inconsiderate of other people on more than one occasion.  However, they have never personally bothered me, so I could not truly be a judge of their character.

Last night, I had a strange dream. Everything seemed rather normal, until all of a sudden, I began to scream like a banshee. I tried to make sense of this in my sleep, but I had no clue what was happening. And, then I realized the screams were not my own. I slowly and sleepily opened my eyes to glance at the television, believing that perhaps I had left it on. Nope. The howling from outside continued. I assumed that it was some crazy college student attempting to be funny, and that it would stop soon. But, it didn’t. The sounds were reminiscent of an old Tarzan movie. I finally forced myself out of bed and to the door to see what hooligan would be inconsiderate enough to wake up our entire apartment complex at (i glanced at the clock) FOUR THIRTY IN THE MORNING??? If you hadn’t already realized, it was the girls who had moved into my roommates old room. I was furious. I would have given them a peice of my mind, if our campus police hadn’t already been called on them.

As I came to learn this morning, it was one of the girls’ 21st birthdays. Both girls had done quite a bit of celebrating, and they were locked out of their apartment. That’s completely understandable to me. My friends and I like to party just as much as the other sorority girls on campus. However, we have never been known to scream loud enough that we wake up people in other apartments at unreasonable hours of the morning! What kind of person do you have to be, to believe that you are so important that it is acceptable to do that? Even in an altered state, I think I would realize that other people are sleeping. Is it too much to ask for a little consideration sometimes?